Indistractable Read online

  Praise for Indistractable

  “If you value your time, your focus, or your relationships, this book is essential reading. I’m putting these ideas into practice.”

  —Jonathan Haidt, author of The Righteous Mind

  “Indistractable is the most practical and realistic approach to balancing technology with well-being. A must-read for anyone with a smartphone.”

  —Mark Manson, author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

  “This book is full of insights, stories, cutting-edge research and—most helpful—concrete, manageable strategies for becoming indistractable.”

  —Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project

  “In a world filled with noise, Indistractable provides a framework that will deliver the focus you need to get results.”

  —James Clear, author of Atomic Habits

  “Success and happiness belong to people who can control their attention. Nir Eyal is on a mission to protect you from distraction—and his lively book is full of actionable ideas”

  —Adam Grant, author of Give and Take and Originals

  “In the future, there will be two kinds of people in the world: those who read and apply the principles in Indistractable and those who wish they had read it sooner.”

  —Kintan Brahmbhatt, global head of product at Amazon Music

  “Being indistractable is the essential skill for our time. Skip this book at your peril! My advice is this: Read it. Live it. Repeat.”

  —Greg McKeown, author of Essentialism

  “This is such an important book. Indistractable is the best guide I’ve read for reclaiming our attention, our focus, and our lives.”

  —Arianna Huffington, founder and CEO of Thrive, Global and founder of The Huffington Post

  “I can think of no more important skill than focus and no better teacher than Nir Eyal. Being indistractable is the skill of the century.”

  —Shane Parrish, founder of Farnam Street

  “As a lifelong procrastinator, I’m painfully aware of how much productivity-related advice there is out there and how little of it is actually helpful. Indistractable is an exception.”

  —Tim Urban, author of WaitButWhy.com

  “This book has done more to change the way I see the world than anything I’ve read in the past several years. The actionable insights from Indistractable have helped me reduce my daily time spent on email by 90%.”

  —Shane Snow, author of Smartcuts

  “Indistractable puts humans back where we belong when it comes to distraction: in the cockpit of our own lives.”

  —Anya Kamenetz, author of The Art of Screen Time

  “Indistractable will help you make the most of your time and find peace and productivity in an increasingly distracting world.”

  —Charlotte Blank, chief behavioral officer at Maritz

  “Dive headfirst into this book. Indistractable is a fascinating, visual, and profoundly helpful guide to overcoming distraction. The deeper you dig into this book, the more productive you’ll become.”

  —Chris Bailey, author of Hyperfocus

  “Indistractable is filled with both wisdom and humor. This is a valuable read for anyone navigating our modern world.”

  —Richard M. Ryan, cofounder of self-determination theory

  “Nir Eyal understands the modern technologies of attention from the inside, and in this practical and timely book, he shares the secrets to regaining and sustaining the capacity to focus on what matters. Your brain (not to mention your spouse, your kids, and your friends) will thank you for reading it.”

  —Oliver Burkeman, columnist for The Guardian

  “An essential book for anyone trying to think, work, or live better.”

  —Ryan Holiday, author of The Obstacle Is the Way and Ego Is the Enemy

  “Indistractable is priceless. You can’t afford to ignore this book.”

  —Eric Barker, author of Barking Up The Wrong Tree

  “By following Eyal’s four-step, research-backed model, you’ll be able to gain control of your attention and leverage the incredible benefits of modern technology without feeling scattered and drained. Indistractable is an essential book for people looking to make big things happen in the digital age.”

  —Taylor Pearson, author of The End of Jobs

  “Indistractable helped me realize technology was not the real reason I got distracted and struggled to get things done. It changed how I manage every part of my day, and I cannot recommend it highly enough. Everybody should read this book!”

  —Steve Kamb, founder of Nerd Fitness and author of Level Up Your Life

  “Indistractable is a masterclass in understanding the root cause of distraction. Recommended for anyone looking to do more deep work.”

  —Cal Newport, author of Deep Work

  “Indistractable was an ‘ah-ha moment’ for me. Eyal distills academic research without ignoring the nuances and he values the readers’ time with a Goldilocks amount of detail, relevant examples, and practical strategies.”

  —Jocelyn Brewer, founder of Digital Nutrition

  “Indistractable is the most complete guide I’ve ever read on being focused. This book is a gift for anyone looking to free up time so that they can live a better, more fulfilling, and less hectic life.”

  —Dan Schawbel, author of Back to Human

  Also by Nir Eyal

  Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products

  Copyright © 2019 by Nir Eyal

  The identities of some individuals in this book have been changed. Some sections have previously appeared on the author’s blog, NirAndFar.com.

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

  BenBella Books, Inc.

  10440 N. Central Expressway, Suite 800

  Dallas, TX 75231

  www.benbellabooks.com

  Send feedback to [email protected]

  First E-Book Edition: September 2019

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:

  Names: Eyal, Nir, author. | Li-Eyal, Julie, author.

  Title: Indistractable : how to control your attention and choose your life / Nir Eyal, with Julie Li.

  Description: Dallas, TX : BenBella Books, Inc., [2019] | Includes bibliographical references and index.

  Identifiers: LCCN 2019019263 (print) | LCCN 2019022298 (ebook) | ISBN 9781948836784 (electronic) | ISBN 9781948836531 (trade cloth : alk. paper)

  Subjects: LCSH: Distraction (Psychology) | Attention.

  Classification: LCC BF323.D5 E93 2019 (print) | LCC BF323.D5 (ebook) | DDC 153.7/33—dc23

  LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019019263

  LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019022298

  Editing by Stephanie Gorton

  Copyediting by Miki Alexandra Caputo

  Proofreading by Michael Fedison and Greg Teague

  Text design and composition by Aaron Edmiston

  Graphic design by Carla Cruttenden

  Bookmark by Muneer A. Safiah from the Noun Project

  Cover design by Sarah Avinger

  Printed by Lake Book Manufacturing

  Distributed to the trade by Two Rivers Distribution, an Ingram brand

  www.tworiversdistribution.com

  Special discounts for bulk sales are available.

  Please contact [email protected].

  For Jasmine

  An Important Note

  Before you start reading, make sure to download the supplementary materials from my website. You’ll find free resources, downloads, and my latest updates at:

  NirAndFar.com/Indist
ractable

  Most important, you’ll want to use the accompanying workbook, which I designed with exercises for each chapter to help you apply what you learn to your own life.

  Also, please note that I do not have a financial interest in any of the companies mentioned unless specifically stated and my recommendations are not influenced by any advertisers.

  If you’d like to get in touch personally, you can reach me through my blog at NirAndFar.com/Contact.

  Contents

  Introduction: From Hooked to Indistractable

  Chapter 1: What’s Your Superpower?

  Chapter 2: Being Indistractable

  PART 1: MASTER INTERNAL TRIGGERS

  Chapter 3: What Motivates Us, Really?

  Chapter 4: Time Management Is Pain Management

  Chapter 5: Deal with Distraction from Within

  Chapter 6: Reimagine the Internal Trigger

  Chapter 7: Reimagine the Task

  Chapter 8: Reimagine Your Temperament

  PART 2: MAKE TIME FOR TRACTION

  Chapter 9: Turn Your Values into Time

  Chapter 10: Control the Inputs, Not the Outcomes

  Chapter 11: Schedule Important Relationships

  Chapter 12: Sync with Stakeholders at Work

  PART 3: HACK BACK EXTERNAL TRIGGERS

  Chapter 13: Ask the Critical Question

  Chapter 14: Hack Back Work Interruptions

  Chapter 15: Hack Back Email

  Chapter 16: Hack Back Group Chat

  Chapter 17: Hack Back Meetings

  Chapter 18: Hack Back Your Smartphone

  Chapter 19: Hack Back Your Desktop

  Chapter 20: Hack Back Online Articles

  Chapter 21: Hack Back Feeds

  PART 4: PREVENT DISTRACTION WITH PACTS

  Chapter 22: The Power of Precommitments

  Chapter 23: Prevent Distraction with Effort Pacts

  Chapter 24: Prevent Distraction with Price Pacts

  Chapter 25: Prevent Distraction with Identity Pacts

  PART 5: HOW TO MAKE YOUR WORKPLACE INDISTRACTABLE

  Chapter 26: Distraction Is a Sign of Dysfunction

  Chapter 27: Fixing Distraction Is a Test of Company Culture

  Chapter 28: The Indistractable Workplace

  PART 6: HOW TO RAISE INDISTRACTABLE CHILDREN (AND WHY WE ALL NEED PSYCHOLOGICAL NUTRIENTS)

  Chapter 29: Avoid Convenient Excuses

  Chapter 30: Understand Their Internal Triggers

  Chapter 31: Make Time for Traction Together

  Chapter 32: Help Them with External Triggers

  Chapter 33: Teach Them to Make Their Own Pacts

  PART 7: HOW TO HAVE INDISTRACTABLE RELATIONSHIPS

  Chapter 34: Spread Social Antibodies Among Friends

  Chapter 35: Be an Indistractable Lover

  Chapter Takeaways

  Schedule Template

  Distraction Tracker

  Acknowledgments

  Contributors

  Notes

  Indistractable Book Club Discussion Guide

  About the Authors

  Introduction

  From Hooked to Indistractable

  There’s a certain yellow book you’ll find on the shelves of most major tech companies. I’ve seen it at Facebook, Google, PayPal, and Slack. It’s given out at tech conferences and company training events. A friend working at Microsoft told me the CEO, Satya Nadella, held up a copy and recommended it to all the company’s employees.

  The book, Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products, was a Wall Street Journal best seller and, at the time of this writing, still ranks as the number one book in the “Products” category on Amazon. It’s a cookbook, of sorts. The book contains a recipe for human behavior—your behavior. These tech companies know that in order to make money, they need to keep us coming back—their business models depend on it.

  I know this because I’ve spent the past decade researching the hidden psychology that some of the most successful companies in the world use to make their products so captivating. For years, I taught future executives at both the Stanford Graduate School of Business and at the Hasso Plattner Institute of Design.

  In writing Hooked, my hope was that start-ups and socially concerned companies would use this knowledge to design new ways of helping people build better habits. Why should the tech giants keep these secrets to themselves? Shouldn’t we use the same psychology that makes video games and social media so engaging to design products to help people live better lives?

  Since Hooked was published, thousands of companies have used the book to empower their users to build helpful and healthy habits. Fitbod is a fitness app that helps people build better exercise routines. Byte Foods seeks to change people’s eating habits with internet-connected pantries that offer locally made fresh meals. Kahoot! builds software to make classroom learning more engaging and fun.1

  We want our products to be user friendly, easy to navigate, and yes, habit-forming. Companies making their products more engaging isn’t necessarily a problem—it’s progress.

  But there’s also a dark side. As philosopher Paul Virilio wrote, “When you invent the ship, you also invent the shipwreck.” In the case of user-friendly products and services, what makes some products engaging and easy to use can also make them distracting.

  For many people, these distractions can get out of hand, leaving us with a feeling that our decisions are not our own. The fact is, in this day and age, if you are not equipped to manage distraction, your brain will be manipulated by time-wasting diversions.

  In the next few pages, I’ll reveal my own struggle with distraction, and how I, ironically, got hooked. But I’ll also share how I overcame my struggle and explain why we are much more powerful than any of the tech giants. As an industry insider, I know their Achilles’ heel—and soon you will too.

  The good news is that we have the unique ability to adapt to such threats. We can take steps right now to retrain and regain our brains. To be blunt, what other choice do we have? We don’t have time to wait for regulators to do something, and if you hold your breath waiting for corporations to make their products less distracting, well, you’re going to suffocate.

  In the future, there will be two kinds of people in the world: those who let their attention and lives be controlled and coerced by others and those who proudly call themselves “indistractable.” By opening this book, you’ve taken the first step toward owning your time and your future.

  But you’re just getting started. For years you’ve been conditioned to expect instant gratification. Think of getting to the last page of Indistractable as a personal challenge to liberate your mind.

  The antidote to impulsiveness is forethought. Planning ahead ensures you will follow through. With the techniques in this book, you’ll learn exactly what to do from this day forth to control your attention and choose your life.

  1I loved the way Kahoot! and Byte Foods used my book so much that I decided to invest in both companies.

  Chapter 1

  What’s Your Superpower?

  I love sweets, I love social media, and I love television. However, as much as I love these things, they don’t love me back. Overeating a sugary indulgence after a meal, spending too much time scrolling a feed, or indulging in a Netflix binge until 2 am were all things I once did with little or no conscious thought—out of habit.

  Just as eating too much junk food leads to health problems, the overuse of devices can also have negative consequences. For me, it was the way I prioritized distractions over the most important people in my life. Worst of all was what I let distractions do to my relationship with my daughter. She’s our only child and, to my wife and me, the most amazing kid in the world.

  One particular day, the two of us were playing games from an activity book designed to bring dads and daughters closer together. The first activity involved naming each other’s favorite things. The next project was building a paper airplane with one of the pages. The third w
as a question we both had to answer: “If you could have any superpower, what would it be?”

  I wish I could tell you what my daughter said at that moment, but I can’t. I have no idea because I wasn’t really there. I was physically in the room, but my mind was elsewhere. “Daddy,” she said, “what would your superpower be?”

  “Huh?” I grunted. “Just a second. I just need to respond to this one thing.” I dismissed her as I attended to something on my phone. My eyes were still glued to my screen, fingers tapping away at something that seemed important at the time but could definitely have waited. She went quiet. By the time I looked up, she was gone.

  I had just blown a magical moment with my daughter because something on my phone had grabbed my attention. On its own, it was no big deal. But if I told you this was an isolated incident, I’d be lying. This same scene had played out countless times before.

  I wasn’t the only one putting distractions before people. An early reader of this book told me that when he asked his eight-year-old daughter what her superpower would be, she said she wanted to talk to animals. When asked why, the child said, “So that I have someone to talk to when you and mom are too busy working on your computers.”

  After finding my daughter and apologizing, I decided it was time for a change. At first, I went extreme. Convinced it was all technology’s fault, I tried a “digital detox.” I started using an old-school flip phone so I couldn’t be tempted to use email, Instagram, and Twitter. But I found it too difficult to get around without GPS and the addresses saved inside my calendar app. I missed listening to audiobooks while I walked, as well as all the other handy things my smartphone could do.

  To avoid wasting time reading too many news articles online, I purchased a subscription to the print edition of a newspaper. A few weeks later, I had a stack of unread papers piled neatly next to me as I watched the news on TV.

  In an attempt to stay focused while writing, I bought a 1990s word processor without an internet connection. However, whenever I’d sit down to write, I’d find myself glancing at the bookshelf and would soon start flipping through books unrelated to my work. Somehow, I kept getting distracted, even without the tech that I thought was the source of the problem.